Scheming of Taru’el

Groany shakes his head in disgust. He wasn’t a fan of his current surroundings: the thin and filthy sleeping pallet, the bitter cold, and the rank odor of decay. The bars didn’t add much to the décor, either. He wondered how long it would take before his fellow pirates broke him out of here. He cheered up a bit at the thought, smiling at the rapid rate of jailbreaking his fellows had exhibited in the past. With any luck, he’d be out of here before his eyes could adjust to the gloom!

Groany looks over at Monster’s twin, Iron Dragon, in an adjacent cell and sighs. He says, “Is it just me, or are the authorities getting a little too big for their britches?” Iron Dragon shrugs and continues polishing his Black Jack’s Boots.  Groany asks, “Why are you worrying about your boots in here? They’re just gonna get dirty again!”

Iron Dragon looks up and says, “Not so long as I avoid the piles of pewp in here! ‘Sides…gotta look my best fer the ladies!” Chilly Cheeks snorts. She says, “Takes a little more than nice footwear to get a girl. Just don’t let any of ‘em tie you down, else you’re liable to lose more than just your shiny shoes. On second thought, I know a nice private place we can go after we get out of here. Whaddaya say?”

Captain Grizzly growls, “Stop teasin’ the boy! Let ‘im be. Least ‘e kin entertain ‘imself ‘thout flappin’ ‘is lips!” Cars the tenth smiles and says, “Good to know you’ve “got his back”, Grizz!”  Several people laugh.

Golden Eye says, “What we should be doing is figuring out who’s behind all this. I mean, obviously someone’s been tippin’ ‘em off.”  The Pope nods. “There is wisdom there, my child. We must have a spy in our midst. So. How shall we root him out?”

lightchest appears contemplative. He says, “I think we need to draw him out. And the best way to do that is—”

“That won’t be necessary,” says a new voice from the darkness. A figure steps forward. Light reflects and refracts into rainbow hues as it strikes his crystalline cloak. An alabaster beard of icicles projects from his chin. “I am Taru’el, Master of the Frozen Deep. You have kindled the ire of Millalobo, Great King of the Sea. There has been unrest in his kingdom since you began meddling with the power of the water spirits. I have been sent to stop you.”

Red Beard stands up, saying, “A dozen pardons, but we intend to continue to seek the water spirits until we claim their power as our own, and avenge the ills perpetrated on Old Ironbeard. I suggest you stay out of our way.” The other pirates stand in unison to show their solidarity.

Taru’el laughs heartily. “Fools! You shall all suffer the wrath of the Great Water Spirits for your arrogance!” He raises an icy wand and aims at the cells. Suddenly, he cries out as his hand is sliced into by a flung Stalactar. The sorcerer flees into the darkness dripping blood as pirates rush toward the cells, led by Cdr. West with Supa and DaSaNDMaN close behind him.  Supa shouts, “Let’s go kill the bastard!” and runs in the direction Taru’el disappeared. He suddenly steps onto an icy floor, loses his balance and slides into a stone wall.  Cdr. West recovers his Stalactar, saying, “We don’t have time. Reinforcements will be here all too soon.”

Groany steps from his cell once the lock is broken, turning to West and saying, “’Bout time! That goon almost…well, almost did something really bad to us, I’m sure!”  Cdr. West picks up the wand. “Almost froze you? This is an ice wand after all. Or didn’t you notice?”  Groany says, “Whatever. Let’s just get the hell outta here! Oh yeah…and we should totally appoint our own King of the Sea! I nominate myself.”  DaSaNDMaN makes a rude noise and says, “You would. Dork.”  The other pirates chuckle as they race out of the prison.

1 Trillion Attributes and More!

1 Trillion Attributes Competition:

Who will be first to hit 1 Trillion stats? First there gets a one-of-a-kind trophy! Second overall gets a Junk Chest full of such surprises as the Stinky Fish and the Pile of pewp!


And even if yer nowhere near 1 trillion attributes, come train as hard as ye can and win some cash and prizes! The fun starts at 6 pm EST on August 9th, and won’t end until the fat lady sings! (Or a trillion stats is reached…whichever comes first!) Good luck, mateys!

The sale:

Many of you missed this sale last time, and requested we run it again, so we’re running it for this unique occasion.

For celebration of the 1 Trillion comp, all packs are on sale 2.5X (times) the amount for the original price! (For example, you can get 125 awakes for the same favor as the regular 50 awake package.)


We’re working hard on new features and plans for growth. I hope you are as excited as we are!

Click here to discuss this post in the forum!